After my night with Liam I went home in a daze. Not in a good kind of daze, but more a confused one. Things were getting out of hand. He wanted more from me that I was able to give. Willing to give. There couldn’t be more. There shouldn’t be any soft touches or kisses. There certainly shouldn’t be ‘I love you’s’. And the latter we’d been very close to this time.
I was perhaps just as guilty as he was. I should’ve left right after the… after the deed, so to speak. Not give him any time to slide into that comfort zone where he would slip and do something like this. I’m still surprised I hadn’t crashed the car on the way back home, considering the state I was in. I was however very glad not to find William loitering around in my living room, having let himself in as per usual. He must be having fun with his night on the town.
At least one of us was. That’s something I suppose.
Willow, thankfully, had already gone to bed by the time I’d gotten home. So I could indulge in a drink. Or two. Quite possibly three. Of course it was illegal, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t some stash of it laying about. There were times one just needed something stronger then a sarsaparilla. I’m just fortunate William never found my stash, even though I’m pretty sure he knew it has to be hidden somewhere.
By the time I went to bed I was suitable buzzed of a different variety. That didn’t, as I had hoped, stop me from thinking. Mulling things over. I tried to mull the case over, but that one I had as good as solved. I just needed to gather some evidence and it was water tight. Instead I mulled about Liam and myself and how we were going to drown if this kept going on.
Yes, I cared about him. I cared about him quite a lot. But I wasn’t going to become a home wrecker. I refused to become that flat out. Though it may have been a little late for that. Liam had assured me Darla still had no idea, and perhaps it was better if this, this between us was called to a halt before she found out. Before we slid in to deep and could find out. The consequences for both of us would not only be dire, but dangerous. Perhaps even deadly.
I fell into a restless sleep, woke up with a pounding headache and rather….cranky, to say the least. After a quick shower and some toast and tea for breakfast, I got dressed, slipped on my glasses, my coat and plodded over to my car. I was running a bit late, which was unusual for me.
Dammit. This has to stop. This cannot go on.
All the parking paces near the office were already taken, which left me to park a few blocks away. Cursing under my breath I stomped over to the office, nearly slammed the door closed behind me but caught myself just in time. “Morning,” I grumbled, realizing I hadn’t even gotten my newspaper, tea and I'd forgotten to shave.
Great. This is going to be a *wonderful* day. I can already tell. Bloody hell.
[Open for Cordelia and/or Spike if they're at the office]
Current Mood: bitchy